A reflection on the names we’ve carried, the ones we’ve outgrown, and the ones we’re ready to claim.

Some words don’t just land, they linger. This piece began with one of those words. It turned into something much deeper than I expected… a quiet exploration of who we are becoming, and the power we hold in naming that version of ourselves.

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Have you ever had a word just kind of… follow you around? It’s not in a book or a conversation. It’s not something you read on a sign. It just lands in your mind and lingers there, like it wants your attention.

For me, the other day, that word was: Moniker.

It wasn’t tied to anything obvious. I tend to view my life from outside myself, like I’m watching a movie unfold or reading a story where I’m both the main character and the witness. There’s always a sense of plot, and a deeper meaning inside the everyday. So when a word lingers, I notice. And I wonder what role it’s here to play.

And, so I looked it up. A moniker is a name. A nickname. A chosen title. Sometimes playful, sometimes personal. But always with intention.

And that’s when something inside me sparked…

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Who We’ve Been. Who We’re Becoming.

I started thinking about the names I’ve carried through different seasons of my life. Some were given to me like, daughter, mom, wife, widow. Some I claimed on my own, traveler, seeker, writer, student of life.

Then there are the labels that come from how we show up in the world:

The strong one. The peacemaker. The quiet one. The listener. The one who keeps it together.

Or maybe, the one who left. The one who stayed. The one who had to start over.

We carry so many names, most of which we never chose.

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And Then There Are the Nicknames…

I was surprised and genuinely caught off guard when I went to a cookout and heard the nickname my friend’s family called him. It was something playful and lighthearted, totally unexpected. I had never pictured him that way. And yet, hearing that name gave me a glimpse into a version of him I hadn’t seen before. One shaped by childhood, family, and affection.

It’s funny how something as simple as a nickname can offer insight into someone’s life. A softness, a story, a history you never would’ve known was there.

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The Labels We Never Say Out Loud

Of course, the most powerful names, the ones that shape us the most are often the ones no one hears. Because we gave them to ourselves.

The quiet, sneaky ones:

“I’m too emotional.”

“I’m not the smart one.”

“I’m a burden.”

“I’m behind.”

“I’m not enough.”

We pick them up in childhood, in heartbreak, in trauma, in quiet moments of comparison or shame. And without realizing it, we let those names write entire chapters of our story.

But here’s the absolute truth: You can outgrow a label without explaining it to anyone. You can simply stop answering to it.

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So What’s Your Moniker Now?

Maybe that’s why this word moniker showed up. Not to remind me who I was, but to ask me who I’m becoming. Because life has changed. I’ve changed. And maybe it’s time to call myself by a name that matches this version of me. The one that feels fully alive.The one that’s healing and open and ready for more. The one that’s writing. Laughing. Allowing. The one that sees beauty in solitude and possibility in the in-between.

So I’ll ask you the same thing I asked myself:

What name would you give the version of you that exists right now?

Not the you from ten years ago.

Not the name someone else called you.

Not the one tied to your job or your title or your relationship status.

But the you that’s unfolding.

The one that’s emerging.

The one that’s still evolving.

If you could name yourself, what would it be?

What’s a label you’ve outgrown, but still catch yourself repeating?

Whatever name comes to you, whether it’s a word, a phrase, a moniker, or a quiet whisper, I hope it feels like home. And I hope you wear it with joy.

Because you’ve earned the right to name yourself.

And you are more than the story anyone else gave you.